Sweden

Transport

“The Swedes are models of serenity. They are able to drive for hours behind a truck doing 60, which by the way is much longer there than here, and yet not overtake them. Also, in addition to the two lanes of their main roads, they usually even have two hard shoulders. It is a common custom there to pull over to the hard shoulder to make it easier for others to overtake. Oncoming cars do the same. So the fact is they could go as fast as they liked, but the maximum speed is only 110 km/h.”

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“The transport culture is developed, but the pace is noticeably slower than in other European cities. Motorists invariably give way at zebra crossings, and pass cyclists in a wide arc. Public transport vehicles have low floors, and there are ramps and lifts for prams and wheelchairs everywhere. Swedes tend to have much more respect and understanding for each other, and the pace of life is also slower and less stressful, which is also helped by the larger amount of living space.

Stockholm is a city defined by rivers, lakes and the sea, which may have shaped the close-to-nature approach. Wherever one goes, one finds water and green space. A lot of sports, including running, walking, skiing, and skating are also related to these, and exercise is part of everyday life.

Swedes can find solutions in every area of life, nothing seems to really baffle them. Whether it’s a school problem, a public transport complaint or a labor issue. They confront issues head on and solve things quickly, which is also helped by a lot of statistics. General trust and compliance also make their lives easier. . (2019)

History

"They spent lived lives peacefully under the reigns of Harald, Magnus, Olaf, Margaret, Charles, and Gustavus Adolphus, and no one knew who was Norwegian, Danish, or Swedish. Then, in the early seventeenth century, the independent Swedes decided to introduce themselves to Europe. They built a huge ship, to show the slow-coach English and Dutch shipbuilders see what Swedish manhood was capable of. The ‘Vasa’ went straight from the dockyard to the watery deep, as it was swamped and capsized by the waves produced when it was launched. All of Europe laughed at the stupid Swedes, but they didn’t give up. Gustavus Adolphus II, who others described as capable, at least by Swedish standards, won the title of the most stupid king at the Battle of Lützen. It so happened that the short-sighted king forgot to put on his spectacles, and at the beginning of the battle, he rode cheerfully among the riders of Wallenstein, wanting to lead them into battle towards the Swedes. At first, they could not believe that the King of Sweden was so stupid, but then they welcomed the opportunity and knocked him down.

After their failures in Europe, the Swedes sullenly retreated into their closed world until they could make fools of themselves again against Peter the Great. The tsar just wanted to open a ‘window to Europe’ through the wall of the Swedes, which they took umbrage at and began to attack Russia. The Russians started playing ‘catch’ on their beloved steppes with the Swedes, then got bored and destroyed them near Poltava. After this, the Swedes became more sullen than ever, and for a hundred years hardly a peep was heard from them. Even then, it was only because Napoleon made one of his officers, Bernadotte, their king. Bernadotte soon realized the Swedes' tendency towards stupidity and, to protect the poor things from a perpetual cycle of failures, withdrew them from Europe with an ideology of neutrality. Of course, through Bernadotte, the Swedes once again managed to ridicule themselves, because they had the only king in the world whose chest was adorned with a tattoo reading "Death to kings!"

Nowadays

“Cheerful good humor was abandoned by the Swedes in the ‘90s, replaced by their most ancient national characteristic: stupidity. Generational change played a major role in this. The stupid Maoist kids of ’68, after shagging, drinking, and smoking their way through the ’70s and 80s, moved into decision-making positions. They wanted to show the world how smart they were and – unknowingly – revived the Swedish tradition of stupidity.

It started with the fact that they would be the champions of integration and then show well to the countries that could not cope with the curse of their former colonies. So they imported a bunch of Pakistanis, Kurds, Turks, Albanians, and Africans and started integrating them. The result is somewhat ambiguous: immigrants have accustomed themselves to prosperity with great grace, but unfortunately have not yet succeeded in internalizing the obligations that come with it. Thus, there are districts in some Swedish cities which – to the glory of integration –native Swedes are strongly advised to avoid. So the world once again laughs at the stupid Swedes who got themselves into such a predicament.

People

Here are just a few "novelties" that might be weird at first:

• they will only shake hands at the first meeting (on being introduced), it is not customary to start each day by exchanging skin microbes and germs.
• they do not use paper handkerchiefs, and instead hawk and sniff (and, if necessary, suck the ectoplasm from the nose into the mouth);
• at first they won't show their feelings, or after 5 minutes they won't reveal their most hidden secrets (I don't know how typical in general);
• if the situation arises, they will burp without batting an eyelid – here it is a natural thing (so long as it’s at a volume that does not shake the earth, causing a 7.5-scale earthquake, of course);
• you know you’ve been accepted when a Swedish colleague invites you to have coffee (it may take long weeks/months);
• privacy and family are sacred and inviolable, so for me, for instance, it was inconceivable when my boss asked me on Friday, almost apologetically, if I could come to work on Saturday (with paid overtime, and of course I could say no).

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Here, people are able to negotiate without offending each other or looking for each other’s weaknesses. All that matters here is to talk about the subject, to be professional and diplomatic. That's the expectation, and you're done.

Back home in Hungary, meanwhile, it’s almost inevitable that whether it’s a family dinner or a group of friends, the conversation becomes a political argument, in Sweden, this happens only tangentially, and politics is not a constant topic, although the Swedish political elite is also criticized there because of the refugee situation or the government.

Politics has no influence on everyday life. It’s commonplace, but you can live here without knowing about politics. At home, everyone thinks the only undeniable truth is what he or she thinks about the world, and that it’s independent of one’s emotional state. In Sweden, this seems rather ridiculous.(2019)

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Tourist etiquette

1. Locals may object if food or packaging is left on or near a bench.